Hair Is Coming Back!

I have to apologize to all my blog followers for not updating you on what is going on with me. I guess you could say that no news is good news. Here's the scoop:

· I am in my second cycle of Xeloda (2 weeks on, 1 week off) which is the oral chemo medication for treating metastatic breast cancer. It has the added bonus of treating colon cancer (which I do NOT have) so I get two cancer treatments for the price of one. Yay me. But wait – there’s more! Other side effects include: gas, bloating, sensitive, dry, cracked hands and feet, some nausea, fatigue, achy muscles and vivid dreams. I am not complaining – it is WAY better than the IV chemo treatments, but still it is a constant reminder that I am not cancer-free.

· My hair is coming back! I am SO excited. Every day my scalp is filling out, and I cannot wait to go wig-less and hat-less. I don’t care if grows in as a giant, grey afro – it will cover my head and not itch or fall out. That’s progress! I included a photo so you can see what I mean.

· I get another PET/CT scan in January to check my progress. Then I will find out if the tumors are still shrinking and nothing new has cropped up. My oncologist is optimistic and so am I.

· I still have my mediport in my chest, and every three weeks I get an injection of Herceptin. This does not have significant side effects, so I don’t mind a 30 minute visit to the oncologist. Plus it gives me and my mom a chance to gab about life. I am still amazed by her continued support throughout my adventure.

· I have discontinued the amazing meal service that Teri Flach organized for me and my family. With my energy returning and the nausea disappearing, I wanted life at home to return to normal. I am forever grateful for all the families who brought us the delicious meals and certificates – you made the last several months bearable and helped my healing process. Of course you spoiled my kids – who were not used to the meal variety and tasty treats. It was wonderful!

· All of the prayers, cards, movies and letters have been a blessing. I still get the occasional ‘mystery card’ from someone who cheers me up with such kind words. Thank you for reaching out and making this challenging time easier on me.

That’s the all the news that’s fit to blog. I am looking forward to better health during the holidays with Chris and my family. I will try to write more frequently so you know I am alive and well. I am ALIVE and WELL. It feels great to be over the worst of this!

Worst Week Ever

After Thursday’s ‘last big chemo’ treatment on October 1, I was a mess. Not a hot mess. I was a nauseated, sick, mess. It was officially the worst week ever. I could not keep anything down starting on Sunday evening. On Tuesday I broke down, called the oncologist and had to get some IV fluids and anti-nausea to combat dehydration. On Wednesday, I was back at the doctor again – for more fluids and anti-nausea meds. They even did an X-ray of my digestive tract to see if there was a blockage. There was no blockage. I had to reset my system, drink clear fluids and try to keep something down. Finally on Thursday I started to come out of the nausea-haze and by today, I was eating semi-normally.

My mom and dad were wonderful to me – taking me back and forth to the doctor, picking up medicine, dealing with my kids. The nurses and doctors I dealt with were also wonderful to me – doing everything they could to help me feel better. I cannot tell you how glad I am that was the last chemo treatment. There were points this week when I thought I was going to die. I did not feel strong, brave, or positive. I did not think ‘I could beat this thing.’ My thoughts were ‘why is this happening to me?’ and ‘can someone please put me out of my misery?’

Someone has to find a cure to this. Someone has to figure out ways to treat cancer where the treatment is not worse than the disease. Everywhere I turn this month I am reminded about breast cancer. I don’t need any more reminders. I don’t care about seeing pink on everyone. I just need it to be gone.

Yesterday - LAST CHEMO!

Yesterday I went to the oncologist for my “big” chemo treatment. This is the 3.5 hour dose that usually leaves me sick and run down for about 5-6 days. Of course I was dreading it, but going into it I knew these poisons were working, so I think my outlook the next few days will be better.

I also met with my doctor to discuss my treatment plan. More good news! Yesterday was my last chemo treatment! She thinks the last scan results were so positive, she recommended a scaled down version of meds for the next year or so. Here it is:
Herceptin (by IV) – every three weeks, instead of every week. This drug has been relatively easy for me to take, with very few side effects.

Xeloda (orally) – take every day for two weeks, then take a week off. This drug combined with Herceptin, targets cancer cells by inhibiting the ability of the cell to produce or repair DNA and making the cell unable to reproduce – which shrinks the tumors. Of course there are potential side effects (like I would get off easy, right??). These can be fatigue, diarrhea, and itchy, red, scaled hands and feet to name a few. Weird, huh. I will try and not anticipate the worst!

Tests and scans – periodically I will get PET/CT scans to check the progress of the tumors, and Echocardiograms to check my heart muscle. Sometimes Herceptin can affect the heart. The next PET scan will be in January.

Other interesting news from my visit yesterday… I scored a new wig and a new baseball hat- hair combo. There is a box of free hats and accessories at my doctors office for anyone to use – and I certainly took advantage! I think the wigs look – well- as good as wigs can. It is nice to have options.

So – with this being my last chemo – I can expect to start growing hair in the next few months. Maybe I’ll have some hair on my head by Christmas! Yay! I know I should not sound so shallow. However, it is all about ‘normalcy’ for me. And the best news of all is knowing I won’t ‘feel’ as terrible as I do after chemo, and I can start to get my life back, get more energy back and start looking forward to a cancer-controlled future.

An extra-special cancer-fan shout out goes to my mom, who continues to come with me on my treatments and help me remember all the questions I should ask the doctor. I could not get through this this without her. I love you mom!!!

The Chemo is Working!

Good news! My PET CT scan on Wednesday revealed that the tumors in my lymph nodes and liver are shrinking! Many of the smaller spots in the original scan were not even visible in the recent scan. Two of the largest tumors reduced in size by half. I was very, VERY happy with the results, and so is my doctor. I am still not sure if my chemo cycle will be changed yet. I do have a big dose this Thursday. But knowing that the meds are doing their job - that all the sickness and exhaustion is worth something - I am relieved.

I have so many cancer fan shout outs to make to friends and family. I am feelin the love, people! I love all the meals, the Kelty's funny videos and cards, co-workers pasta dishes and desserts, my mom and dad taking me to my chemo treatments, Kristin's bag 'o meals, Chris tending to me while I moan... I could go on and on. Prayers and words of support are getting me throught this as well.

I know I am going to beat this- and am inspired and encouraged by everyone. Hugs and kisses to all!

Getting PET Scan Next Week!

After last Thursday's big chemo, I finally started to feel better on Wednesday. Then yesterday, I was back in for another herceptin dose, followed by an exam by my oncologist. Prior to the exam, her nurse assistant told me that I needed to have three more big chemo treatments before my cycle would end. Last week's treatment (the third of three) left me worn out, nauseous and feeling horrible for six days, so that news was devastating to me.

So, I put on the cloth gown, prepared myself to hear I have two more months of chemo, and soon my oncologist came in for the exam. She felt the lymph nodes under my arm, which two months ago were very swollen and sore. The swelling and pain was gone! She said it was time for another PET/CT scan to check the status of the tumors. If they have been reduced in size (which the lymph nodes certainly have) my chemo treatment schedule might be reduced – preferably to something less harsh.

I was thrilled with this news! I scheduled the scan for next week, and will hopefully find out if the meds (aka poisons) have been working. My doctor seemed to be optimistic about the results. For me, this was the positive boost I needed. Whether or not the treatments have shrunk the tumors, at least I will have an update soon. For an ‘impatient patient’ like myself, knowing SOMETHING is better than nothing, and I ‘think’ that what I will find out will be worth the pain. This all can’t be for nothing, right???

Everyone who continues to pray for me, make meals for my family, offer to help with my kids, shopping, rides, sending positive vibes, blog comments, cards, etc.--- I can’t thank you enough for being present in my life. I know my ‘adventure’ will continue – the road is ahead may have peaks and valleys. But as long as I have friends and family with me on the path, I will be OK.

I am sick of feeling sick

It's been five days since I had my last 'big' chemo and I am STILL feeling lousy. Granted, I have felt gradually a tiny bit better every day since Friday, but still, I am tired, nauseous, shaky, etc. I am a terrible patient because I can't stand slowing down. It is awful. I want this to be over.

Sorry friends. I can't be positive today.

Group Therapy is Cool

On Wednesday night, I attended my first group therapy session through the Life with Cancer Center - which is part of INOVA's treatment centers. My group included four other women with metastatic breast cancer and a counselor from the program. It was very interesting to hear their cancer stories. All of the women were in different stages of treatment, some for several years. Of the four, two of them had breast cancer that spread to the liver, and three of them had it spread to their bones. Comparatively, I was in the earliest stages of treatment, and the youngest in the group.

It was a rewarding experience for me. I learned about many treatment plans that include oral chemotherapy meds, found out about a wig store in Alexandria that has cancer products, and discussed how other people react when we tell them about our cancer. The counselor suggested that my kids attend group therapy that Life with Cancer offers, which seems like a good idea. I will definitely go to the group session next month, and best of all – its free!

Today I had my Herceptin treatment. One of the women in the group heard that Herceptin is extremely effective with my type of receptor cells. She said she wished her cancer cells were HER-2 positive so she could be treated with Herceptin!

I am doing pretty well on the weeks where I do not receive the ‘big chemo.’ The most annoying side effect is that I still get tired when I do physical activity for very long. I almost feel guilty with all of the wonderful meals I am receiving from families. My kids said to me tonight as they gobbled down some delicious salmon and potatoes, “We could get used to this!” I did not say out loud to them, but I thought, “They must like other people’s meals because even before cancer, their mom never cooked!” I just told them to thank the families and be grateful that we have so many people who care about us.

My next big chemo is a week from today, and needless to say, I am not looking forward to the aftermath. At least I know what to expect. And at least I continue to receive prayers and help from family and friends. And at least I am not alone. And at least I have a future to look towards. And at least my hair will grow back one day. And at least I have hope that this is all going to be ok. Well, on most days, I do. At least.